為你流淚

其實我一直以為我好了
可是原來傷口一直都沒復原
昨晚因為終於說出口的一句 我還愛他 還想他
我哭了
我以為 我不會再為他哭了
我真的以為

那個tattoo的打算 還沒忘記

是不是忍著痛 去把它刺下去

就能忘了心裡的痛

If I were the earthbound spirit

最近狂看Ghost Whisperer
Study Week總是會在狂看某些歐美系列連續劇或香港連續劇的
看著看著
加上今天是平安夜
年中，比情人節還要浪漫的，是平安夜、聖誕節和12月31日跨入1月1日那一秒
所以 我寂寞寂寞就好

如果 earthbound spirit 真的存在
如果 crossover 真的存在
如果 ghost whisperer 真的存在

我想 我死後 一定會變成earthbound spirit
絕不可能輕易就crossover了
因為心裡 不曾放下forever special one

我想知道他還想我嗎 還愛我嗎
如果能重來 會不會就不那麼輕易放棄了
如果 如果 如果 很多的如果
可是我知道 這輩子 我們不可能再在一起
怎麼那麼肥皂劇
可是肥皂劇 其實就是從現實例子演變出來的
只是我們少了肥皂劇裡的纏綿
只是你很決絕地 放棄了 狠狠地 放棄了
好羨慕她
心底希望你幸福 卻也希望你的幸福是我
我知道 我不曾說 不曾承認 但我知道 我希望的 是你不會和任何女人有結果
最後 留在你身邊的還是我
我知道 這不可能 我知道 我傻 我笨 我真的 不值得 任何一個人愛我
因為我只記得你 只愛你 忘記了 什麼叫做放手
熱水燒得我手好燙好燙 破皮了 卻還是緊握杯子
我想 即使你結婚了 甚至我還是觀禮者 我還是無法放下這杯子
一輩子 等著 那個不可能

不是Christian 不是catholic 可是從朋友的blog看到這個 感觸了 記住了
"Too often we forgive others but forget to forgive ourselves. Self-unforgiveness makes us feel unworthy - this blocks the healing love of God - Whose love is unconditional!! You can't give what you do not have."
You cant give what you do not have. I love you, that's what I can give you, unconditionally, unlimited, timeless.
如果有一天 我能夠忘記你了 希望那時候的我 能原諒現在如此痛苦糾結迷失深愛你的我

Forever Special One 

每一夜 都是想你的夜

我知道，會看我blog的，大概只有心情驛站的主人了。

如果你在KL，不是那麼遠的山頂的話，我想，我能隨時找到你，喝個茶，告訴你，我又想他了。

Tired of only can express the feelings here, but I don't know who else I can talk to.

Because it's annoying hearing someone like me, keep saying that she miss him, such a long time.

不習慣 把自己的痛苦 說給他人聽 不習慣 去解釋一些自己內心無法釋懷的東西

如果我能說出我某些故事 那麼代表它們是已經放下的故事 是過去式

總是沒辦法 說說正在進行式

又emo了

也許該做part time 讓自己的生活連拍照 wechat emo 睡覺的時間都沒有

那麼 我也許能不那麼執著 不那麼難過 不那麼難放下

Again

That forever alone feel again
I dont know what to tell how to describe and how to stop
I hate it
I hate being such negative
I shouldn't make my happiness and moods depend on someone so much but it's so hard to control
I hate it, really hate it

I just happened to miss you, in an irregularly regular basis

有些人 注定留在你的心中 一輩子
不管曾經擁有 還是永遠無法擁有
回憶 無法磨滅
愛 不再增加 也不會減少

堅強

梁文音有一首歌那麼唱著 我不是你想像那麼勇敢
我也常常覺得貼切 覺得自己很脆弱
常常需要人疼需要人關注關心需要人愛
可是

對
这世界有多殘酷，我们就有多坚强。

現實 審美觀 種種因為外在而發生的不公平 都發生過在我的身上
可今天的我 還是不怕去嘗試 不怕去冒險 不怕走在大街上
也許這世界讓我不敢去涉足一些行業
但不代表我活不下去
我還是很堅強的我
那個企鵝姐姐

Personality Test

So I saw my friend posted her personality test on facebook and saying that it is freakishly true.
I tried and shock with the result.
Wasn't really believe that 4 simple steps would get my personality type easily, plus the statements in each steps were actually both choices have some that described me.
Made me feel like I'm such a no-personality people.

So, the test result saying that my personality type is THE DETERMINED REALIST.

Determined Realists like to bear responsibility and welcome challenges. They are stable, reliable persons. External contacts are very important to them; they mix well and are very active. They are excellent organisers and are very happy when things are done correctly and punctually; they can quickly react impatiently if others are not as conscientious, orderly and dutiful as they are.

They prefer structured work which produces visible results quickly to abstract, long-drawn-out processes. Determined Realists have no problem with routine as long as it serves efficiency. However, they very much dislike unexpected and unpredictable occurrences which mess up their careful plans. Once they have committed themselves to a cause they do this with dedication and are willing to make considerable sacrifices for it.

Determined Realists do not avoid conflicts and criticism but face up to them and look for solutions. As they have a keen eye for the errors and shortcomings of others and are often quick at expressing criticism, they sometimes rub people up the wrong way especially when they lose their temper and jump to conclusions. Due to their marked sense of justice they are quickly willing to correct themselves and never take offence if someone speaks to them frankly. You do not have to seek hidden motives with them; you always know where you are. Determined Realists are often found in executive positions as they combine commitment, competence and the ability to assert themselves. In their spare time, they often also accept responsibility in clubs and other institutions. 

Traditions rate highly with Determined Realists. They attend every family event and never forget a birthday or wedding anniversary. Family and friends are very important to them. With their open, communicative manner, they find it easy to get to know people and have a large circle of friends and acquaintances. They are never superficial, but reliable and loyal friends who are always there when they are needed. Determined Realists take their relationships very seriously - they dream of finding a partner for life. In a love relationship, they seek above all stability and loyalty and here, too, they are willing to invest a lot in a harmonious togetherness. Determined Realists master crises or difficult phases with composure; they would never think of breaking a promise given. As a partner, one can always rely on their support.

And so, I look into the CAREER ADVICE too.

As a Determined Realist, you are one of the extroverted personality types. You enjoy working in a team as a colleague or a team leader. Because you have an outgoing nature, you approach others easily and openly; working in solitude by yourself would be punishment for you.

You know how to appreciate a harmonic working climate, but the relationship to your colleagues is not as important to you as to some of the other personality types. For you, the task always comes first and your colleagues and/or superiors are second. As long as everybody is working as disciplined and determined as you are, everything is just fine.

However, if you sense that the work is suffering from irrelevant disputes or private matters that have nothing to do with the job, you have no problem expressing your criticism, and making your team toe the line. It would never occur to you to sacrifice a good result in your work on the altar of personal moods, or in favor of a conflict free environment. On the other hand, you are one of the personality types who is best at handling criticism, and swallow negative feedback without brooding or sink into depression. Consequently, you also can hold your ground in professions where the climate is a little rougher and more competition oriented.

You are an excellent organizer, and a genius at planning and maintaining a workflow that is precise and on time. You enjoy dealing with details and facts, developing rules and guidelines, and establishing standards. Here, your natural sense for systematic and love of order prove to be advantageous; as well as your acute aptitude to see the most efficient of all possible approaches.

Where your work is concerned, “reliability” is your second name. You have a real problem leaving things to chance, and you hate nothing more than when something unexpected happens, thus throwing your carefully laid plans into chaos without warning. When a project you conceived is implemented without any hiccups and is brought to a good end, this is your greatest joy.

I strongly recommend this personality test. Have a try HERE.